I love to laugh. It's a passion of mine. I need to find something funny in nearly every circumstance, or else the situation gets dull, boring, or even slightly morose-- and we all know how great of an experience it is to droll our minds to death. I crack jokes-- even if they lack a storming punchline. I tell puns, so well that sometimes I get like butter-- on a roll! But most of the time I use ironic, situational humor-- "...As opposed to..." punchlines. When I applied to the seminary last winter, one of the questions asked me to "finish the sentence." Evidently, the psychological aspect of seminary application tried to delve into my personal beliefs, values, and ideologies. For instance, they asked me to finish "my dad ________" or "my mom ______" or "I secretly fear ________." The most memorable of all asked me to finish "girls _______." I humbly replied, "Girls tell me I'm funny." Believe me, I got a chuckle or two out of the psychologist when he read my answer.
There is power in humor. A well told joke can instantly change moods from low to high, moving a person from a state of depression to elation within seconds. It is nearly impossible for me to remain angry or disappointed when I hear a stomach-jiggling joke. And yet, sometimes I find myself laughing at some, well, jokes questionable in their moral standard. I do not think, however, it is improper for someone to dislike a joke. I do believe, however, that the moral standards that ought to be applied to evaluating jokes, puns, and humour insofar as not how much someone likes or dislikes a joke, but its effect upon their personal dignity.
G.K. Chesterton predicted, nearly a century ago, that, "If the modern world will not insist on having some sharp and definite moral law, capable of resisting the counter-attractions of art and humour, the modern world will simply be given over as a spoil to anybody who can manage to do a nasty thing in a nice way." It seldomly seems that contemporary comedians have a "clean" show. It seems as though comedians have found ways to use the f-word as every part of speech. I could not go one day in my high school without hearing a classmate utter a vulgar word. Maybe the world has been handed over as spoils? I hope not.
It used to be that vulgarity expressed extreme anger or outrageous displeasure. It used to be that it was social taboo to speak "cuss" or swear words. Men and women who blasphemed merited death in certain cultures. That, of course, is not the case these days. These days, popular songs such as "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" "You're Beautiful" "Empire State of Mind" "Not Afraid" "Love the Way You Lie" include vulgar, and easily remmovable improper language-- and yet remain popular and contemporary "classics", songs easily known by the mass public. Is this integrated vulgarity into pop society necessary? NO. Plainly, no. There is no excuse for vulgar or "dirty" language-- lest we reduce human beings to nothing more than animals farting out sounds from their mouths. Pop culture has integrated these thoughts of "acceptable language" to be equivalent in respect to a vulgar thought disguised by a popular icon.
There is an old saying, "Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action; reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character reap a destiny." As popular culture sows the thought of introducing acceptable-vulgarity, it implicitly endorses anger. By endorsing anger, pop culture ought not be surprised at the multitude of violent crimes. Pop culture excuses the violent crimes through relative-subjectivism, or blames design or the environment. Rarely do individuals take remorseful and personal culpability directly related to their actions and intentions. That is the devil's lie-- we ought not be sorry for any wrong we commit-- we ought not feel bad, responsible, culpable, remorseful, or repentant. Content: that is his lie. Then what is the truth?
"I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me," articulates Jesus Christ. Jesus is the truth. How do we come to know truth? Through and by Him. Through prayer, adoration, the sacraments, and recognizing Christ's presence in each other-- "When two or more are gathered in My name, I am there." This is not a laughing matter. It is UNTIL you accept Christ in your life that you consciously or unconsciously desire Him. We all have a Jesus-sized hole in our human design.
As we laugh, let us remember-- if Jesus would be for "this joke", then I can be for it; if Jesus would be against "this joke", then I should be against it. Essentially the cheesy grade-school "WWJD." But it works. Plainly and simply. It requires a change of heart, change of lifestyle, change of language -- all metanoia. The tingle of a funny bone can never triumph the value of the heart, lest the value of our hearts decrease to zero. Remember, Jesus tells us to, "Love the Lord God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love our neighbor as ourself." That's our punchline--a punchline of love.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Be A Dad: A Thoughtful Critique of Fr. Larry Richard's Article Relating Fatherhood to Family
“You are going to die! … Isn’t that a nice thought?”[1] begins Fr. Larry Richards. Death motivates even the most stubborn and stagnant-hearted individuals. But in this case, Richards manipulates the deepest fear of the human race, death, as a catalyst for living out Christian fatherhood. The ultimatum of death’s reality, Richards implicitly articulates, should direct our attitude of life. With that in mind, a Christian father ought to especially live out Jesus’ command of love—Love one another as I have loved you. Love is the key that opens the lock to a faithful, wholesome, and life-giving marriage.
Many men, however, fear the vulnerability which true love precipitates. Vulnerability comes from the Latin vulnero literally meaning “to wound.” Loving leaves room for hurt, pain, and intimate suffering—all of which are the inevitable “wounds.” But as Richards says, “You will never in your life regret that you told your wife…that you love [her] – never.”[2] In the end, reflecting on life, there will never be a thought of “I should not have loved.” We find that, interestingly enough, God tells us 365 times in Sacred Scripture, “Do not Be Afraid.” So then, how do we, as men, conquer this seemingly inherent fear to be intimate and vulnerable with others? Through love for God. We must be vulnerable with the Lord before we can be vulnerable with our wife.
Loving and knowing God is not the same as knowing about Him. Memorizing Aquinas’ Cosmological Proofs or getting an “A” in this Christian Marriage class will not automatically reserve a spot for anyone in God’s Kingdom in heaven. We come to know God through spending time with God, just as how we come to know anyone in an intimate way. We must, as Fr. Larry Richards puts it, “Keep spending time with God until… you know God…”[3] God calls us, however, to a special relationship with Him—one that demands an intimacy unequivocally unrelated to any other human relationship. He is to be our Abba—our daddy—and we are to be His children. He is from Whom our model of Christian fatherhood should originate.
Just as how Our Father loves wholly and unconditionally, so too ought we to love our wife and children. As it says in Ephesians, “Wives, be submissive to your husbands… Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church” – this demand upon the husband requires a Christo-centric heart committed to agape—the Greek understanding of unconditional love. Fr. Larry Richards says, “Every day [you] need to be more concerned about [the other]. That is what marriage is about!”[4] The term sacrifice comes from the Latin sacra meaning “holy or sacred.” So literally by sacrificing oneself for the other, a husband imparts holiness upon his wife and himself and vice versa. This is the beauty of a Christian Marriage—seeing Jesus Christ in your spouse.[5] The husband, however, has a specific and distinct role in the family dynamic.
The husband, comments Fr. Larry Richards, is to be the “spiritual leader” of the family.[6] As the spiritual leader, he is explicitly called to lay down his life for his family. And yet, Richards calls men of this age “spiritual wimps” [7] for not daily carrying their cross in the light of Jesus Christ—the Man for Others par excellence. They are to lead through prayer, by coming to know the Lord in an intimate relationship and guiding their family closer towards Christ. They are to lead by sacrifice, making holy their families by giving of themselves unconditionally. They are to lead by humility, by realizing the vast importance concerning their duty to love and serve their family. They are to lead by example, living a life worthy of being admired—even Richards admits, “Men, your kids…will want to become just like you.” [8]
Simplicity assumes men fully understand holiness. Holiness, however, is not sprinkling incense, lighting candles, charismatically speaking in tongues, nor having grace-filled visions. Holiness comes from the Hebrew word qadosh meaning “to be set apart or distinct.” As men, we must pray distinctly, lead distinctly, and love distinctly—best accomplished through faithfulness to wife, children, and God. Lacking in holiness comes at a grave cost. Richards mentions, “If we [men] are not holy ourselves, then our families will not be holy”[9]—how true! To live in a family devoted to living an unadulterated, wholesome Christian Marriage will set apart the family from the rest of the world. We must, especially in this day in age, be Christ to the world. That is true holiness.
“You are going to die…isn’t that a nice thought?”[10] Yet, that implicitly states we, as men, have life left to live. We hold in the palm of our hand the greatest gift the Lord could give us—the ability to love Him—and we best love Him by loving others with the gifts He has given. He has blessed us with the opportunity to lead a family by gracing us with evident holiness, unreserved sacrifice, humble leadership, and tender prayer. There is a holy, distinct confidence that the Lord of the universe has given us a powerful mission—Love one another as I have loved you—and that is the “catchphrase” of Christian Marriage. As Fr. Larry Richards guarantees, “[Love] will change your family. [Love] will change the world.”[11]
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